Getting Spanked at 115 Beats per Minute

Be forewarned, today's musings from my perambulations are all over the map but did culminate in a spanking brought about by my hubris!

Today's ramble through the byways of Long Island brought me from Northport to West Hills and back via Commack, Dix Hills, Huntington Station, and Green Lawn.  A big 30 mile loop that had some climbs, some flats and a lot of sun!

I've spoken before of how I like to listen to music on my old school iPod with an ear bud in my right ear so I can still hear traffic (and my phone if it rings) but I like to load my "Cycling" playlist with music that motivates me, oftentimes giving me blasts from the past as I remember particular times in my life when a particular song was popular.  But I have this rule that I don't start playing until I get at least three miles in which is usually when I get out of Northport and onto whatever route I'm following for that day.

What I've started doing the last year instead is going over CPR compression rates in my head.  You see, not too long ago the American Heart Association recommended that instead of the 100 beats per minute for compressions that was the norm for a long time, we should be compressing at 100-120 beats per minute instead.  Now while many people think it funny to compress to Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" in their head, you know considering the irony and all, other's like to use instead (and one that was suggested to us the first time I got my CPR card) "Stayin' Alive" by the BeeGees.  A fun tune but it always brought back too many flashbacks of not getting to dance at high school dances (no one would dance when I asked) and also the scene from The Office which is precipitated by Dwight trying to teach them all about "Emergency Preparedness".  Unfortunately, the excitement causes one of them to have a heart attack and so they all must take a mandatory CPR course;

Unfortunately, at 104 beats per minute, it really is on the slow side but it doesn't stop people from using it as a go to song to keep the rhythm.  I was once part of a call in which we needed to continue with manual CPR (they had taken off the Lucas device) in the Trauma room. The attendant wasn't compressing at fast enough rate and one of the nurses actually started singing "Staying Alive" to get him to keep the rhythm.  Unfortunately, this particular individual was apparently rhythmically challenged and even with her tuneful melody couldn't keep the beat so the medic and I stepped in.  We were damned if we were going to lose that patient because someone couldn't keep the beat.  Of course, if 104 beats per minute is your jam, you could always use "The Imperial March" from Star Wars - it too is 104 bpm and immensely more fun to hum in the back of the ambulance!

I actually have a really good sense of rhythm and I attribute it to my dance background and my time playing rhythm guitar at the LITMA Celtic Jam sessions on Sunday mornings.  And I've put it to good use on far too many calls.  One of the best compliments I ever received was while doing ER rotations for my CC class when, while assisting during a code, one of the nurses said to me, "nice compressions".  I guess my rhythm was good.  One of my goals for the not too distant future (once I help my boys get through their EMT class) is to become a CPR instructor.

Which is why I know the AHA guidelines for CPR are now 100-120 beats per minute, which means 110-115 is the sweet spot, not 104 beats per minute.  Now there are a LOT of great songs that land in that range.  AC/DC's "Highway to Hell";

Or if you want to stick with Queen and you're feeling a little "Under Pressure";

And although I listen to some Queen (it brings back good memories of the 70's and 80's) when I ride.  I tend to listen to a lot more Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Breaking Benjamin, Foo Fighters and Green Day.  Indeed, one of my favorite songs in that sweet spot range to pedal to is Green Day's "21st Century Breakdown";

Sometimes though when I ride things happen to my olde iPod and it gets stuck.  Probably it's because I hit a wrong button when it's hidden in my back pocket.  Today was one of those days and here's one of the songs that I listened to today before my iPod ran out of power, when I was feeling a little of Def Leppard's "Hysteria";

In the late 80's and early 90's I listened to a lot this band and bring back lots of great memories, particularly of my days in Ballet Dallas.  And as I heard this song playing today I thought of my time with the company.  I was fortunate enough to dance with them for two seasons before I moved to New York to pursue my dream of being a modern dancer.  You see, at 5' 6 1/2" I was a little short to really be a ballet dancer as most of the girls were almost as tall as I was.  There was one, who I recently was blessed to get back in touch with who inspired me.  She was always told she was too short to be a ballerina but she had toured Europe and was one of the principals of Ballet Dallas so I thought maybe if she could do it, I could to.  I just had to find my niche.  So I thought maybe I could move to New York and try modern dance.  Little did I know it would actually lead me to musical theatre - and the rest is history.  So thank you Vicky, I wouldn't have the life I have now except for your example!

And a little after all of this musing over how Ballet Dallas had such a seminal influence on my life my iPod died but I was at the top of a great place to stop for a mid ride snack of banana and granola bar.

(Yep, just trying to commune with nature!)

But I digress.  Where was I?  Oh, yes - Is 110-115 bpm a little fast for pedalling?  Yes, yes it is and I don't always keep up with that rhythm and use it more for the motivation than anything else.  But when I don't have music, as happened midway through my ride, I go over CPR in my head and use that range and try to pedal to it and after every 30 pedal revolutions I take two deep breaths.  Then I start all over again!

Well all was going well and I was feeling pretty good.  My average mph wasn't anything to write home (or in this blog) about but I was feeling pretty energetic. I didn't have music but I was keeping a good tempo when I looked over my shoulder and I saw another cyclist about an 1/8th of a mile behind me.  "Well!," I thought to myself, "I need to work harder going up this hill then so he doesn't catch me."

And this is where hubris (and this unknown cyclist) not only back hand slapped me, but spanked me......HARD!!!!  Just as I crested the hill (thinking, to myself he was farther behind now) he passed me and (this is the part that really got me), easily and with no effort said, "Great day, huh?"  And then he slowly moved further away as if I were standing still!!!!!  I mean, yes I'm not in great shape now but I thought I was getting better.  But now I know I've been kidding myself.  Uggggggghhhhhhh!  I just wanted to drop over on the side of the road and have someone perform compressions on me so that maybe, just maybe I might have the energy to go faster.  Yeah, yeah, I know it doesn't work that way but still.

So, today's meandering reminded me of a few things.  I'm grateful for so much in my life and for all of the experiences that have brought me to the place I am now.  Ballet Dallas led to New York.  New York led to musical theatre.  Musical Theatre led me to meet my wife Amy and but for her love and support I wouldn't be a teacher and have had a small part in the careers of so many young theatre professionals.  And because of my wife I have three amazing children.  And because of those children I decided to become an EMT and try to help my community and learn CPR.  And all because I was too short to be a ballet dancer!

Oh, and apparently there's another song that's perfect in that sweet spot for compressions when doing CPR. It's one you've heard often and probably know all the lyrics by heart;

Well, that's all the musings from today's ride.  I won't be getting out tomorrow since I'm working a shift at CVAC but I'll be getting out again on Monday.  Till then, keep on pushing.....doot, doo, doot da doo!!!!

I'll see you on the road!

FFR - Nothing!  I'm glad to see that none of our furry friends were flattened!
RRL - Nothing unusual, just lots and lots of discarded gloves and surgical masks!  Clean up after yourselves, people!!!!!

100 Meters, MS(D), Amerika and the REAL Heroes

This morning I didn't want to ride.  I was tired, no, I was exhausted. See, I worked the overnight shift again last night at CVAC and although we weren't needed to go out on any calls, whenever the calls and the subsequent signals that indicate a rig's status go out it disrupts whatever slouching towards REM might be occurring in my brain.  So after I got home I was determined to go back to sleep.  Yet my mind wouldn't let me, it had another purpose in mind.

There are movies you watch that just seem to inspire.  Perhaps it was/is Rocky, or Rudy, or Remember the Titans.  Maybe it's a movie like The Blind Side that shows what somebody's potential can be if their just given the right break.  Or a film like The Life of Pi, Schindler's List, The Pursuit of Happyness or any number of others that will inspire you to never give up. The other night I found another movie to add to that list - 100 Meters a 2016 Spanish (yes, get ready for subtitles) film directed by Marcel Barrena.  It tells the true story of a man diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis who became determined he would finish an Iron-Man Competition after being told by doctors that within a year of his diagnosis he would not be able to walk 100 meters.  I was originally looking for a break from my bingeing of old YouTube cycling videos and went onto the Netflix search and typed (surprise) "Cycling" expecting to pull up something like American Flyers, Breaking Away, Rising from Ashes, or Pantani.  Instead, I found this movie and I'm so very glad I did.

Much of my life I've known people who have been fighting debilitating illnesses.  When I was very young it was one of my cousins battling Leukemia. It was the first time I knew children could get sick.  When I became a part of the dance world I became close with people who were struggling with anorexia, Lupus, Grave's disease, and degenerative physical conditions that were making it excruciating for them to dance - but they kept going because they loved it.  As I grew older, five members of my family fought their own battles with cancer and, I'm so grateful to say, won them. I worked for many years at Sunrise Day Camp getting close to young people who were still fighting their battles with cancer.  Too many times I received the emails from the director telling us one of our young charges had passed. And then my father was diagnosed a number of years ago with Parkinson's.  So despite my reticence to watch this movie, once I learned it dealt with a neurological disease, it drew me in and kept me there.

As I watched the movie (I won't spoil the plot here, I really want you to put it on your watch list), one based on a true story, I became very conscious of the fact that the protagonist Ramon was just a normal guy.  He wasn't someone who was particular active or athletic. He wasn't a hot shot athlete struck down in the middle of a stellar soccer career. He was just a guy that worked a lot of hours, trying to provide for his family until he was diagnosed with MS.  He goes through the stages of grief, lashing out at everyone around him until his wife tells him, "Your children didn't choose a bitter father." It reminded me of the fact that as parents it's our job to take care of our children, no matter what is going on in our lives.  It's not their fault, they don't get to choose who begats them.  We need to be the adults and do what we can for them.  It is up to us to make the effort to allow them to be children, no matter what is happening in our lives.  Even if, as one of the characters puts it, "we all have an incurable degenerative disease, which is life."  It's a touching and inspiring story, made even more so by the fact that it was a set of unfortunate events that were actually lived, and to a great extent overcome, by this man.  I won't reveal the ending except to say that at the end it was "Dedicated to all those who fight to complete their 100 meters."  It was remembering those words and thinking I have nothing at all to complain about compared to Ramon that dragged me off my futon and made me get "fattening the curve" tuchus out the door.

And as I headed out still thinking about the movie I decided as a sort of tribute I would ride MS(D) today - Middle Slow Distance.  You see usually during this time of year I'm commuting on my bike and often taking the long way (30 miles) home in what I like to call LSD - Long Slow Distance.  With the threat of rain this morning I realized I couldn't be out that long but I wanted to still pay tribute to the fortitude of the man who inspired the movie so I vowed if I couldn't ride fast, I'd at least climb some hills and make a go of pushing myself.  While on my ride I also thought of some artwork I had once come across which had been inspired by multiple sclerosis.  It seems the artist Elizabeth Jameson had once been a practicing attorney who was diagnosed with MS and turned to artwork.  Her artwork is based on and inspired by MRI's of her brain.  A true lesson in how to make art of what others would deem to be the utmost in misfortune.  Something so many of my fellow actors and theatre teachers are trying to do in this Life Amongst Covid.  The artwork that begins today's blog is an example of her work.

But as I am wont to do, I allowed my perambulations to also give rein to my musings and found other thoughts coming to my head as I reached that state of flow that focusing on the revolutions of my pedals often brings.  I thought of our current state of social distancing and how even on this ride I carry a surgical mask in my rear pocket in case I have to stop and speak with someone.  I thought how many cars weren't on Jericho Turnpike as I crossed it near Huntington Station (usually a busy stretch of road).  I thought of how many people are actively (and non social distancing) protesting the stay at home orders, some of them giving lame reasons such as needing a haircut or wanting their nails done.  And I thought of some of the people that I have come to know and respect utterly in the brief years I've been an EMT.  I thought of how people thank me when they see me in my EMT uniform as I'm heading to work and how I truly don't believe I deserve it because I'm in no way doing the kind of service they are.  THEY are the real heroes out there.  The nurses I know who are putting in back to back 12 hour shifts and then going home to an empty house.  EMT's who I wish I could be like working in NYC or in the roughest districts on Long Island answering multiple (often in the double digits) cardiac arrest calls a day as patient's organs fail.  Those are the real heroes in my mind and the type of First Responder I wish I could be.

Where all of those thoughts came from are from a conversation I had with a former ACTer (a member of The Association of Creative Thespians, the SHS drama club), a young man named Eric Kravit who curates a podcast titled "Keeping Connected" here on Long Island.  He had sent out a message last week wanting to contact with "normal people dealing with the every day struggle of trying to maintain their livelihood during the pandemic".  I reached out to him, primarily in my capacity as a theater teacher trying to teach what is essentially a kinesthetic subject through a digital means.  I also spoke with him on the phone about how Little Mermaid was cancelled because of the virus and how we've been keeping up the hope (but which seems to be quickly dwindling now) of perhaps restaging the production before the end of the school year.  And of how I've been also spending my most of my time at home in an 8x10 room because of patient contact I've had in my duties as an EMT.  After initially battling a lot of technical difficulties Eric and I had the chance to have a conversation which will eventually be edited as part of his podcast.  We spoke about a lot of things but one of the things we talked a lot about was how being an EMT has changed from pre-Covid to post-Covid.  In essence, it's changed everything as we can't answer a call for someone falling without taking precautions that it might be someone who has Covid, has been in contact with someone who has had Covid, or that someone else in the home may have Covid.  It's definitely changed the way we all handle patient care.  At the end of the session he thanked me and my family for all we do for the community from serving as an EMT, to shaving our heads for Saint Baldrick's to riding cross country as a family to raise money for Sunrise. Am I a hero? Certainly not - as I told Eric I'm just a teacher who doesn't have the money I wish at my disposal to donate to all of the causes I believe in.  What I do have is time and a still workable body that can do what I tell it to - well most of the time.

And so today it told me to get my butt on my bike and ride because there are a lot of people who can't - either because they're battling a disease that is getting the best of them or because they are being the REAL heroes and working 12 hour shifts in the hospital trying to save patients from dying.  And while I rambled along the boulevards I also thought of those nurses who just the other day stood in front of the "good people" who were protesting the stay at home orders in Colorado.  There were nurses standing in front of the vehicles keeping the protesters from blocking access to the ER.  One of the nurses was of Asian heritage and one of the protesters screamed at him to "go to China".  And the sheer stupidity of that mentality struck me hard.  I myself was raised in a Korean-American household and while I don't look it, my sister who is a nurse does and I thought how completely incensed I would be to have someone yell that at her.  Here are people literally putting their lives on the line to save people they may never see again while these bloated, self-important cretins are yelling about how they need their hair cut and nails done.  And just because someone is of Asian heritage doesn't give anyone the right to to yell those sorts of things at them.  This is the America we now live in.  Not the land of the free, and the home of the brave.  Rather it's the land of the xenophobic, and the home of the coward.  No, not all, but the vocal minority has been spewing their hate for four years now rising to a crescendo of hatred and intolerance, in their quest to turn our beautiful nation into a quagmire of myopic misconceptions and untruth.

And it was about that time in my ride that Rammstein's "Amerika" started playing on my iPod.  Now if you're not up on your German Dance Metal (or your German for that matter) I've included the official YouTube video with subtitles here for you;

A little bizarre, a little out there, yes - but it does conjure up one idea that for generations was true - America used to be THE leader of the world.  It was the place where others wanted to go.  It was the culture that peoples from across the globe wanted to emulate.  No longer I fear.  We have become a place of ridicule, the butt of jokes globally, in no small part because of the way we treat our Real Heroes.

Be well.  Take care of yourselves and your families.  And I'll see you on the road

And because I know there were readers who were once amused by all the detritus I observed on my rides, I'm bringing back the RRL (Random Refuse Log) - a description of all the out of place jetsam I see on the side of the road - and the FFR (Flattened Fauna Report) - a description of the fauna that didn't make it to the other side.  Not because I take morbid delight in it (although I have a friend Nancy who in her youth took great delight in running over already flattened roadkill), but because I think it's an interesting zoological observation of the comings and goings of the Long Island wildlife.

RRL - Shopping Cart, Unopened can of pinto beans, Steak Knife, Beach Ball, 8 nitrile/latex gloves
FFR - One Possum, Two birds (I think due to the fact there are fewer cars on the road)

And The World Spins Madly On

For those who, once upon a time, read my blog with some consistency I am sorry.  I have no real excuse except I got overwhelmed by life and found I had no time to sit down and write anymore.  When I had my previous blog (www.connorsarmy.blogspot.com) I made it a point of writing every few days - and virtually every day during the Cross Country event to raise money for Sunrise Day Camp - but as that part of my life wound down I in essence shut down that site and began The Contemplative Cyclist site as a way to write about more in my life than just the efforts my family and I were making to support cancer research.  For almost two years I had begun this new blog which was all about the random thoughts I often had during my various bicycle rides along (mostly) Long Island's byways.  Unfortunately, life in all of it's complications interrupted and the joyous luxury of jotting down my thoughts became one of those things that had to be jettisoned in the name of maintaining balance in my life.

So again, for those of you who enjoyed reading my random musings, I'm sorry it's been such a long hiatus - just a bit over one and half years - though it seems people still have gone on to view my contemplations.  Apparently the blog is up to 1,160 views which blows my mind since I've not written in over two years.

And what a topsy turvy world we live in today compared to when I last posted on October 5, 2018!  Since then I've become a fully certified and practicing New York Certified EMT-Critical Care (essentially, I passed my Suffolk County REMAC Credentialing), ACT has produced five AMAZING productions (a truncated The Little Mermaid - more on that in a future post -, a revival - for us - of Almost, Maine, Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, and a revival of Museum), my sons have both become Eagle Scouts, both of the boys have begun EMT class, and our country has become virtually shut down by the Covid-19 pandemic.  Because of this I (like every other teacher I know) have been teaching classes online and trying to recreate my entire curriculum to do so remotely.  Not the most easy thing to do when you're teaching acting and dance classes.  In addition, because I came into contact with a patient who tested positive for Covid-19 I've been relegated to spending 90% of my time in an 8x10 room.  It used to be the boys' room when they were young, was converted into Sarah and Amy's sewing room and now it has become my "Cubby of Solitude" and it's where I try to keep myself when I'm at home. It looks a little like this;

So I get out to ride now when I can.  Not an every day occurrence yet, but I'm working up to it.  It's been four weeks we've been out of school and a week and a half since I've been living in my little room so cycling has become my way to clear my head.  And when I ride, I contemplate and one of the things that got me ruminating quite a bit on today's journey were the lyrics to The Weepies "The World Spins Madly On".

Now while some of you may know the song from "Scrubs", "One Tree Hill", "Grey's Anatomy" or even "The Good Wife", my own connection with this song is from a choreography project one of my students once created for my Dance 3 class at Syosset High School.  This was way back in 2012 and I loved the song so much I added it to my cycling playlist and I listen to it a lot of the time.  As a matter of fact, I really love most of that "Say I am You" album but I will always be intrigued by the official video that was put out by the group which used lots of stop action Claymation to tell the story;

It wasn't the lyrics per se in regard to the song and their referral to the breakdown of a relationship, but there were a few that REALLY struck a chord with my as I turned the pedals;

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept
Right through the dawn

And the world spins madly on
I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill

It made me think back to younger days when I, like all young people, was a complete idealist and thought so much about how to make the world a new and different place.  That I would make a difference in how the world turned on it's axis.  But as we grow older we realize that the path to changing the world isn't necessarily something that happens in a sudden flash, sometimes it happens in increments - a little here, a little there, an encouraging word, a kind deed, a consistent push to make our corner of the world brand new and different.  And then of course, I thought of the call I went on in an attempt to make a little of Northport a better place and that's why I'm watching the stars from my window sill.  But I'd do it all again because it's what I can do to make the world a better place.

Now I have no illusions.  I don't go on near the calls that some of my friends and colleagues go on.  I can sit for days in my room and not have any tones go out at all. Or if they do, I can't respond because I'm either out on my bike or I'm working my job for the Commack Volunteer Ambulance Corps (CVAC).  I'm not working in an ER or ICU like so many I know are doing even as I type these words.  THEY are heroes in every sense of the word.  Me, I'm just trying to do the best I can to help those I can.  I wish I could do more.  I am trying to use this time to study on all the knowledge that eluded me during CC class.  Yes, I passed the class but so much of it was by rote.  Now I'm utilizing a little time every day to studying and reviewing in order to become a better practitioner.  I'm hoping once the stay-at-home order is lifted I can go and pick the brains of the Northport Paramedics to practice some of the skills I need to refresh.  Again, it's not much but it's the best I can do for now.  Plus, now that William and James are studying to be EMT's themselves, I want to make an effort to give them a good example, not hide in my room and not answer calls.  I'm not in this for the glory, but to make that difference and to hopefully, in a small way, make the world brand new.

And as I continued pedalling I thought more about the social distancing.  Now I know I've posted in the past about how I prefer to ride alone rather than in the tour-de-France-fantasy-wannabe-MAMILS-ride groups because, quite frankly, most of them take themselves far too seriously.  So I thought about how so much of what we have to do now is all about not coming into contact with others.  So as the song "All By Myself" played through my ear bud (I only wear one in my right ear so I can still hear traffic) not the Eric Carmen rock ballad of the mid-70's or even the Celine Dion cover, but rather the bonus track from Green Day's album "Dookie";

I reflected on how this has changed so much about our daily lives.  We ALL have had to learn how to work from home.  Teachers and students are mapping new territory in how to learn online.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have to teacher theatre online and work out lessons to help my young charges grow as artists and not just give them busy work.  I (like most teachers I've talked with) am working harder now than I have any single year since my first year as a teacher.  Are we we making sacrifices?  Hell yes, it's not easy to focus on teaching when your own children need your help and attention.  Are we heroes?  Not so much. 

Yes, there are heroes among us who are daily going out and serving mankind by trying to minister to the sick.  And there are those who are literally putting their lives at risk to help others.  Some have actually died after contracting the virus from treating patients.  And as much as we like to bemoan the fact that we are stuck in our rooms/homes/apartments "all by [ourselves]" we have to realize that only by doing this can we stop the spread in it's track.  So many are calling for the social distancing to be over because "we HAVE to get the economy reopened".  One GOP senator even said that "letting more Americans die from the novel Coranavirus is the lesser of two evils" compared to a recession.  But if we do that we essentially shit all over the sacrifices made by all those first responders, nurses, doctors, PA's and others who have sacrificed themselves and their families to care for those patients.

So yes, it is hard.  And yes, staying put is sometimes like water board torture (depending on how you get along with your family).  And yes, it sucks singing "All By Myself" in whichever version you choose.  But this is unlike anything every experienced by the world in over 100 years!  This WILL be over some day but it's going to take all of us listening to the experts, the scientists with years of experience in fighting infectious diseases, not the petulant whims of science denying politicians who are worried about reelection.  Oh, and if you haven't figured out by now - THIS IS NOT A HOAX!

That's all for now, I promise to begin posting again in a more timely fashion as I ride (and ruminate) more.

I'll see you on the road!


Random Road Refuse - 16 nitrile (I'm hoping) gloves - none at the same place, three surgical masks, a pink unicorn stuffed animal