And The World Spins Madly On

For those who, once upon a time, read my blog with some consistency I am sorry.  I have no real excuse except I got overwhelmed by life and found I had no time to sit down and write anymore.  When I had my previous blog (www.connorsarmy.blogspot.com) I made it a point of writing every few days - and virtually every day during the Cross Country event to raise money for Sunrise Day Camp - but as that part of my life wound down I in essence shut down that site and began The Contemplative Cyclist site as a way to write about more in my life than just the efforts my family and I were making to support cancer research.  For almost two years I had begun this new blog which was all about the random thoughts I often had during my various bicycle rides along (mostly) Long Island's byways.  Unfortunately, life in all of it's complications interrupted and the joyous luxury of jotting down my thoughts became one of those things that had to be jettisoned in the name of maintaining balance in my life.

So again, for those of you who enjoyed reading my random musings, I'm sorry it's been such a long hiatus - just a bit over one and half years - though it seems people still have gone on to view my contemplations.  Apparently the blog is up to 1,160 views which blows my mind since I've not written in over two years.

And what a topsy turvy world we live in today compared to when I last posted on October 5, 2018!  Since then I've become a fully certified and practicing New York Certified EMT-Critical Care (essentially, I passed my Suffolk County REMAC Credentialing), ACT has produced five AMAZING productions (a truncated The Little Mermaid - more on that in a future post -, a revival - for us - of Almost, Maine, Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, and a revival of Museum), my sons have both become Eagle Scouts, both of the boys have begun EMT class, and our country has become virtually shut down by the Covid-19 pandemic.  Because of this I (like every other teacher I know) have been teaching classes online and trying to recreate my entire curriculum to do so remotely.  Not the most easy thing to do when you're teaching acting and dance classes.  In addition, because I came into contact with a patient who tested positive for Covid-19 I've been relegated to spending 90% of my time in an 8x10 room.  It used to be the boys' room when they were young, was converted into Sarah and Amy's sewing room and now it has become my "Cubby of Solitude" and it's where I try to keep myself when I'm at home. It looks a little like this;

So I get out to ride now when I can.  Not an every day occurrence yet, but I'm working up to it.  It's been four weeks we've been out of school and a week and a half since I've been living in my little room so cycling has become my way to clear my head.  And when I ride, I contemplate and one of the things that got me ruminating quite a bit on today's journey were the lyrics to The Weepies "The World Spins Madly On".

Now while some of you may know the song from "Scrubs", "One Tree Hill", "Grey's Anatomy" or even "The Good Wife", my own connection with this song is from a choreography project one of my students once created for my Dance 3 class at Syosset High School.  This was way back in 2012 and I loved the song so much I added it to my cycling playlist and I listen to it a lot of the time.  As a matter of fact, I really love most of that "Say I am You" album but I will always be intrigued by the official video that was put out by the group which used lots of stop action Claymation to tell the story;

It wasn't the lyrics per se in regard to the song and their referral to the breakdown of a relationship, but there were a few that REALLY struck a chord with my as I turned the pedals;

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept
Right through the dawn

And the world spins madly on
I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill

It made me think back to younger days when I, like all young people, was a complete idealist and thought so much about how to make the world a new and different place.  That I would make a difference in how the world turned on it's axis.  But as we grow older we realize that the path to changing the world isn't necessarily something that happens in a sudden flash, sometimes it happens in increments - a little here, a little there, an encouraging word, a kind deed, a consistent push to make our corner of the world brand new and different.  And then of course, I thought of the call I went on in an attempt to make a little of Northport a better place and that's why I'm watching the stars from my window sill.  But I'd do it all again because it's what I can do to make the world a better place.

Now I have no illusions.  I don't go on near the calls that some of my friends and colleagues go on.  I can sit for days in my room and not have any tones go out at all. Or if they do, I can't respond because I'm either out on my bike or I'm working my job for the Commack Volunteer Ambulance Corps (CVAC).  I'm not working in an ER or ICU like so many I know are doing even as I type these words.  THEY are heroes in every sense of the word.  Me, I'm just trying to do the best I can to help those I can.  I wish I could do more.  I am trying to use this time to study on all the knowledge that eluded me during CC class.  Yes, I passed the class but so much of it was by rote.  Now I'm utilizing a little time every day to studying and reviewing in order to become a better practitioner.  I'm hoping once the stay-at-home order is lifted I can go and pick the brains of the Northport Paramedics to practice some of the skills I need to refresh.  Again, it's not much but it's the best I can do for now.  Plus, now that William and James are studying to be EMT's themselves, I want to make an effort to give them a good example, not hide in my room and not answer calls.  I'm not in this for the glory, but to make that difference and to hopefully, in a small way, make the world brand new.

And as I continued pedalling I thought more about the social distancing.  Now I know I've posted in the past about how I prefer to ride alone rather than in the tour-de-France-fantasy-wannabe-MAMILS-ride groups because, quite frankly, most of them take themselves far too seriously.  So I thought about how so much of what we have to do now is all about not coming into contact with others.  So as the song "All By Myself" played through my ear bud (I only wear one in my right ear so I can still hear traffic) not the Eric Carmen rock ballad of the mid-70's or even the Celine Dion cover, but rather the bonus track from Green Day's album "Dookie";

I reflected on how this has changed so much about our daily lives.  We ALL have had to learn how to work from home.  Teachers and students are mapping new territory in how to learn online.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have to teacher theatre online and work out lessons to help my young charges grow as artists and not just give them busy work.  I (like most teachers I've talked with) am working harder now than I have any single year since my first year as a teacher.  Are we we making sacrifices?  Hell yes, it's not easy to focus on teaching when your own children need your help and attention.  Are we heroes?  Not so much. 

Yes, there are heroes among us who are daily going out and serving mankind by trying to minister to the sick.  And there are those who are literally putting their lives at risk to help others.  Some have actually died after contracting the virus from treating patients.  And as much as we like to bemoan the fact that we are stuck in our rooms/homes/apartments "all by [ourselves]" we have to realize that only by doing this can we stop the spread in it's track.  So many are calling for the social distancing to be over because "we HAVE to get the economy reopened".  One GOP senator even said that "letting more Americans die from the novel Coranavirus is the lesser of two evils" compared to a recession.  But if we do that we essentially shit all over the sacrifices made by all those first responders, nurses, doctors, PA's and others who have sacrificed themselves and their families to care for those patients.

So yes, it is hard.  And yes, staying put is sometimes like water board torture (depending on how you get along with your family).  And yes, it sucks singing "All By Myself" in whichever version you choose.  But this is unlike anything every experienced by the world in over 100 years!  This WILL be over some day but it's going to take all of us listening to the experts, the scientists with years of experience in fighting infectious diseases, not the petulant whims of science denying politicians who are worried about reelection.  Oh, and if you haven't figured out by now - THIS IS NOT A HOAX!

That's all for now, I promise to begin posting again in a more timely fashion as I ride (and ruminate) more.

I'll see you on the road!


Random Road Refuse - 16 nitrile (I'm hoping) gloves - none at the same place, three surgical masks, a pink unicorn stuffed animal