To this day (and to be honest I'm sure it was true the very next day) I don't remember what she said in this first call. She had heard something terrible had happened and the North Tower was on fire. We were both concerned for many reasons, one that this type of terrible fire was going on and because only a few years earlier I had worked at Goldman Sachs (my survival job that paid my way through Grad school at Pace University). There were times where part of my job took me to GS's offices at the World Trade Center. So when she called she knew that I knew people in that building, people I had worked with and talked to - and at the time we had no idea what floor they were on. Also at the time we had no idea that by 2001 they had relocated those offices to a nearby building. While she was talking to me and we were trying to figure it out the second plain hit and she was watching the live feed as it happened.
It was one of the few times in my life I've heard her curse. I do much more than I should but Amy? Never. This day was one of those exceptions and that stands out in my memory. She was truly upset by what she was seeing. I told her I had to go tell the kids what had happened as gently as I could because many of them (even pre internet at your fingertips) would probably be getting texts soon so I wanted to be there for them. Even though the bell rang for classes to change, they were all seniors and some had the next period free and the rest decided they were going to stay.
We talked about what this meant, we talked about how they were feeling (most of them old enough and aware enough to understand the ramifications of such an attack). Less than an hour later Amy called and was hysterical, the South Tower had collapsed and she had watched it happen. She was incredibly distraught and so afraid because we had friends who had an apartment in Battery City. They had a young child and he worked in the area. One of her first concerns was for them. She had tried calling but couldn't get through, no doubt because of the massive amount of damage and the amount of phone calls people were trying to make to reach loved ones.
The rest of the day was a blur. A television was set up in the Faculty cafeteria. We watched when we could. I spoke to all of my classes about what was going on and what it might mean for us not only as Americans but as artists. I calmed them down as best I could but many of them had parents who lived in the city. Parents were picking kids up and I was getting messages to send kids to attendance. When I could I would call Amy and try to find out if she had gotten in touch with Lauren. I got home as soon as I could so I could comfort Amy and try to be with her as much as possible. She was supposed to open in an Airport Playhouse production of Pippin but for obvious reasons that performance was cancelled. We spent the evening just watching the news and trying to make sense of the madness that had become our world.
I've written before about my thoughts on that day on the tenth anniversary of 9/11. The difference then and now is that now, having becoming a first responder, I really understand the magnitude of the heroism displayed by all of those who ran into the building to help others. I would like to think that I would have gone too to help as it's what we do - we try to help others.
I had originally intended to go out riding yesterday to honor those who fell fifteen years ago. From those of you who were readers of my Connor's Army blog you know that I often use riding my bike to deal with emotional things that have happened in my life. On this, the fifteenth anniversary I wanted to ride and remember those who were murdered (for let's be honest, that's what it was) and those (who I can now call) brother and sister first responders who answered their last alarm trying to help those in the towers.
Instead, as I was getting myself ready a call came in and I found myself doing what I do - answering the call to help the members of the Northport community. So my memory ride would have to be put off until today. And then, as I was getting everything together for my commute another moment of serendipity took place. I have to first confess that when I ride I listen to music via my iPod. Don't worry, I only use the right earbud (I cut the other one off) and I keep it low so I can hear traffic coming, I just use it to help create a cadence, but it is sound coming into that right ear. It meant this ride would have to be done in relative silence with the only sounds being the creak of the chain (it does need oiling), the "swish" of the tires on the pavement, the sound of my intakes and exhalations, and the sounds in my head.
It allowed me (attired as I was in red, white and blue cycling togs in honor of yesterday) to not focus on the lyrics and rhythms of "Black Betty", "Black Betty", "Another Girl, Another Planet", "Du Hast" and the other panoply of songs I listen to and instead use the silence to reflect on those events fifteen years ago. I thought about the way our world has changed. I thought about how the freshmen in my Acting I class weren't even born when this event occurred, they would never know a pre 9/11 time. I thought about how it has changed our culture and our mistrust of others. And then when I arrived at work I saw this video on my facebook feed;
And I sobbed.
I mourned for the wives, husbands, parents and children of those who perished. I mourned for the firefighters and other first responders who (as I know from my contact with some of these heroes) felt so helpless to do what they were trained and so passionate about doing - protecting others. And I mourned for our country because these images brought back to mind that we have never been the same since.
It lead to a long day of reflection of what is truly meaningful in our lives and how we can't let these children growing up forget this happened and forget that the memorial just above Battery Park is not just ancient history but is history that is still happening now. In this contentious political season it doesn't matter what party philosophy you adhere to, what is important is that all of us, Americans from all walks of life, remember this day and honor those who were shamelessly slaughtered by a contingent of cowards for a twisted ideology.
But as we remember and honor those victims it is VITAL that we honor those who, knowing the situation was dire and was "going south" extremely quickly, rushed TOWARDS the towers to do what they do - protect, heal and serve others.
Let us NEVER forget!
Stay well my friends, may blessings follow you all, and I will see you on the road.
No comments:
Post a Comment